Most channels are unwatchable on all cable boxes

Many channels won't tune in at all due to XRE-03059 (the most common error we're getting by far), XRE-03090, XRE-03062, or XRE-03121 errors while many of the channels that will tune in either pixelate or freeze and stutter. Most of the error messages say that technicians are working on the problem but when I check Status Center or the Outage Map, Comcast doesn't seem to be aware of a problem much less working in it. Today, I saw an Xfinity truck in front of a neighbor's house and a tech up on the pole behind our houses for over an hour. I don't know what they were doing up there as they didn't speak to anyone but nothing is fixed. At least not for us. 

The error messages and pixelations started Saturday around 6PM local time. I checked the wires to all the boxes and they're in good shape and tightly connected to their inputs and outputs. I've done box restarts, system refreshes, and power cycles and they didn't help with any of the problems.

I did an online chat Monday and they said that it would take about two hours for "diagnostics and resolutions to complete" but it's been four days since that chat and the problem hasn't improved. And when I said so in the follow up text, the link to set up a tech appointment wouldn't load. 

We're able to watch our channels on the Xfinity Stream app on our Rokus and smart TVs. The internet tested slowly on Saturday night and we had some intermittent drop outs (very rare for us) on Wednesday but otherwise, the internet has been fine.