I need to speak to an actual human being in regards to adding a new modem since my current one "expired."

Hey there, user_z6q1pm, thanks for reaching out through Xfinity Forums regarding the issue with your modem. I would be happy to help you with ensuring you have the right equipment for your services. 

To send a "Direct Message" to Xfinity Support:
Click "Sign In" if necessary
Click the "Direct Messaging" icon or  https://forums.xfinity.com/direct-messaging
Click the "New message" (pencil and paper) icon
The "To:" line prompts you to "Type the name of a person". Instead, type "Xfinity Support" there
- As you are typing a drop-down list appears. Select "Xfinity Support" from that list
- An "Xfinity Support" graphic replaces the "To:" line
Type your message in the text area near the bottom of the window
Press Enter to send it.

I've canceled your service.