Cancellation

To Whom It May Concern at Xfinity,

First, let me just say — what a *stunning* app you've built. The gradients are gorgeous. The animations are chef's kiss. It's just a shame that every single screen takes 3+ seconds to load. I can only assume your servers are running on S3 Glacier Deep Archive to keep costs down, because there's no other explanation for why fetching my own account balance feels like thawing a frozen lake.

Now, onto why I'm writing: I'd like to cancel my subscription. Simple enough request, right? Well, after spending quality time in your beautifully designed app, I could not find a single obvious way to do it. Plenty of upsell banners, though — those loaded instantly, interestingly.

To get ahead of the inevitable: I do NOT want to chat with your “highly available" support team, sit through hold music, or be transferred three times just to say two words: cancel subscription. I've already turned off autopay (account number: [Edited: "Personal Information"], phone: [Edited: "Personal Information"]) to make sure no further charges slip through while this gets sorted.

Please cancel my service effective as soon as possible, without any additional charges. The upcoming billing period (Apr 27 – May 26, estimated $67.00) should be the last one.

I trust you can handle this over email, given that your app clearly has the infrastructure for great things — it's just choosing not to use it.

Regards,

[Edited: "Personal Information"]