Upstream issues without a paddle

Good evening forum members,

I've been experiencing some rather consistent internet connectivity issues in the last few days - mainly with upload connections. I've attempted several times to get some technical support over the phone, but it's not resulted in more than sending a reboot signal to my modem, which resolves nothing. My wife and I are both working from home (like many, many other Americans these last few weeks), and this has put us in a very tough situation. Comcast says they will not dispatch out a residential technician unless I am completely out of service. So, I'm asking... begging for some help!

I'll get to the facts:

I have a 1Gbps internet plan and provided my own approved modem (Netgear CM1150V), capable of 32 downstream and 8 upstream channels. My downstream channel bonding looks good as far as I can tell. The upstream looks like hot garbage though. I've eliminated the only splitter between the street and the modem, which made a significant difference on the download power and SNR levels, but did nothing for upstream. I've checked all of the RG6 cable, and it looks good. There are two extensions on the line, and I've replaced both of them with new product. Every connection fitting is 'plyers tight'. Regardless, there are endless critical errors in the log regarding timeouts waiting for upstream ranging responses. Here's some snippits of the modem status:

This is what my ping typically looks like:

C:\Users\vulcansheart>ping 1.1.1.1 -t

Pinging 1.1.1.1 with 32 bytes of data:
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=151ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=60ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=32ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=40ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=44ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=55ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=91ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=68ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=54ms TTL=58
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=54ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=96ms TTL=58
Request timed out.
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=220ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=273ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=36ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=255ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=31ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=32ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=52ms TTL=58
Request timed out.
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=36ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=349ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=64ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=344ms TTL=58
Reply from 1.1.1.1: bytes=32 time=148ms TTL=58