HOW do I get an agent who can actually help me change my plan?

How do I get an 'onshore' agent who has a firm understanding of the English language, does not give out fake ticket numbers and confirmation numbers, and doesn't place you on a 'brief hold' for 38 minutes while they process a fake order? I spent almost 3 hours and spoke to 6 different people tonight. No one helped me change my plan, in fact, they made it MUCH worse than before I called in today. If I had ANY other options for an internet provider in my area, I'd switch in a heartbeat.