YOU ARE MAKING ME NUTS!!!

When a problem can be solved by your bot, it is great.

But when there is anything out of the ordinary, there is NO [edit: language] WAY TO TALK TO A HUMAN!!!!!  

You all sent me an email saying there would be a planned outage today.  But, the internet appears to be working.  It's really important that it continue to work.  If it's going to stop, I need to know so I can go someplace else and set up in time for an online meeting.  I just want to ask if your service is done for the day or if I need to move to another location.  Moving would be disruptive, but not being online for this meeting would be worse.  So, I need to know.  

How hard is it to have someone who can tell me if the service will be interrupted later today or not???