Sold on a speed that isn't installed in my area, no acceptable resolution

In my opinion, this borders on false advertising.

My promo ran out; I went looking for another.

I was informed by a phone rep, after multiple questions, that symmetrical gigabit internet was available in my area, and that if I downgraded from "gigabit extra" to "gigabit", I could 'rent' an XB10 and get symmetrical gigabit, at just more than my previous promo. She maintained this even after questions about the listed upload speed.

I'd been receiving emails for months urging modem upgrades and promising better upload - so I figured that symmetrical gigabit was comically over-optimistic, but meaningfully faster upload speeds seemed plausible.

The plan switch was done, but the rep was unable to schedule equipment pickup. The local franchise store said they didn't carry the XB10, and looked no further. The much less convenient corporate store informed me that my new plan was in fact not symmetrical gigabit, just 1000/35, and that I would get an XB8. The reps at the store were very pleasant, but had not the world's tiniest clue about anything technical, had never heard the term "mid-split", and knew nothing of the emails from corporate promising improved upload.

Installing the XB8, I find it's both crippled as a router, and requires an irritating, slow setup via app - not sketchy at all - followed by further digging through the app to enable local access.

After all this, a speedtest reveals at best 37-41mbps up, and that I have, basically, been sold a lie.

Having a clueless phone rep then offer to put me on 1.2gbit down, while claiming it'll still be 35mbit up, for more than I was paying last month, is not an improvement.

On top of all this, the only reason I bothered with rented equipment was the promise of better upload speeds. If all I get is 35-40mbps, I'll just return the crippled, remotely-controlled gateway, and use my own MB8600 and router again. I don't need a full gigabit down - the only reason I pay for these tiers is the marginally less awful upload bandwidth.

This is completely unacceptable.

tl;dr: I was sold on symmetrical gigabit and the matching equipment, as my 'next promo'. I had to visit two stores to find out that speed doesn't exist and I can't have that equipment, and had to get home and install the lesser equipment to find out that the real speeds don't justify any upgrade from my old hardware, at all.