HOW TO GET XFINITY AGENT ON THE PHONE!!!!?????

First of all, 

Before you give me the numbers, I already have them. Before you tell me that you hit this or that, I already have. More than once. More than twice. More than 50 times. For LOVE OF MY LORD, JESUS CHRIST, I do not understand why in the world it takes 30 minutes just to get through the whole "speak clearly what you are wishing to do" and when I answer "speak to an agent," it continues to put you through such time consuming pain.  It is ridiculous. It truly is. I am not a complainer. I very rarely take the time to even try to call places to complain or send a message, etc, but I cannot be the only person in the World that cannot get an Xfinity agent on the line after going through something even worse than talking to my mother in law for an hour. I would rather talk to her for 2 hours than deal with going from one menu to the next menu to "please speak which one most represents what you are calling about" only to get to the end and it disconnect on you. You guys are IN THE COMMUNICATION INDUSTRY!!!!!! COMMUNICATE!!!! I keep my bill paid...but I was suppose to get a credit of $30 or $29.98 or something  for my very first month.  I did not get service that month at all.  It was them sending me the xFINITY INTERNET modem, which I told the agent that I thought I could hook it up, which I did all that correctly, but as we discussed, if the service did not work, they would have to send someone. They did send someone after I finally got them on the phone after a month and half. Or whatever it was, because it's been that long, and the one time I finally got through to your customer service since was during COVID when they wrecked working at home. She assured me that it would be taken care of after I was put on hold (which during-I lost 2 Grandmothers 1 Grandfathers 3 Uncles 2 Aunts and 2 dogs)while she spoke with supervisors and they agreed and after telling them I had lost the entire day, was guaranteed that it would a credit on the next bill.  When it did not show up, I gave up because of your phone system. I can't do it. I really can't. I do not have the time to go through all of that and then either it suddenly drops or the agent has to put me on hold so much they either 1)forget me 2)do not know what they are doing and call disconnects 3)they claim to be transferring me to another agent(supervisor) and it disconnects 4)After spending 45 minutes of going through all the prompts where I guess the goal is to 1)frustrate you so much that you give up or 2)do not understand this: I WANT TO TALK TO AN AGENT like I said from the fist time you asked and then put me through TORTURE of "TELL US MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK TO AN AGENT ABOUT, SO THEY WILL BE ABLE TO HELP YOU BEST" WHICH THEN GIVES ANOTHER 7 OPTIONS to chose from or again, which none match what I need....why...BECAUSE I NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE.  PLEASE!!! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!  I have learned that nothing will make the continuous cycle of them wanting to pinpoint the problem to the point of me just again, wanting to give up to finally hear the ringing where you are about to speak to someone AND THE AGENT gets on the line, and after they put you on hold for another 15 minutes, they come back and tell you to hang on and that you are are about to be put through to a supervisor and the phone starts the ringing and you are so excited that this nightmare is about to be over, and then your heart gets ripped out when you hear the greeting you heard a lifetime ago.  The beginning intro when you call XFINITY....I guess I should have included "NEED TO SPEAK TO COMPETENT AGENT!" but I think it's just you guys speaking brilliant. I think your phone system is set up to make us throw our cell phones so hard that it cracks the screen and we have to come buy a new one!  Your whole "Talk TO an agent" prompts are just as bad! Please please please DO XFINITY NATION (US) A HUGE FAVOR...don't even bother upgrading speed. Work on this! Work on setting it up that phone or chat, when we go "speak to an agent"..you just see 'CONNECTING"   It will make me millions of people happy.  Even put that credit of $29.899998898777 towards "EXPERIENCE THE GREATEST FASTEST CUSTOMER SERVICE EVER" campaign ...because I am confident that I am never going to receive it.  [Edited: "Language"], charge me per chat $1 to get more agents or whatever you need but or a FAST PASS like Six Flags for $2 that puts your call straight through when you say "want to speak to an agent" ....rather than contributing to ruining my life! Thanks.