How do i speak to an agent about multitude of issues. Its ridiculous cant contact anyone

Trying to contact a live person as I need quite a few fixes. 

1.  User permissions using stupid xfinity assisant. 
2. cancel soecific premium channe

3. Trying to manage my plan online it jyst says good news service is available in my area to call whatever waste of time number, just to cancel a premium channel? Really? 
4. Contract expiring need to renew it with new promo, 

5. Possible Cancellation of all services…SEE ABOVE

6. Cant even get a person on the phone nor that stupid xfinity assistant runs you in circles and when finally says let me get someone to help n tries to connect nobody ever gets on chat. I let the 3 loading dots sit there for 4.5 hours 1 day to see (while i was #0 in line) i might add. 

Comcast is disgraceful with their support and do called “Improved support options”. Your kidding me right? I mean get real. Ive had it with you guys n your empty promises and i dont want to hear your sorry when (IF) you contact me like every other time. Its pitiful n “sorry” or “you understand” or “i know how important your service is” and my fav “i would feel that way too”. None of that scripted [Edited: "Language"] does a [Edited: "Language"] thing cuz its all meaningless as i cringe when it finally cones time when i have no choice but to contact you about anythijng. Let alone an issue thats needs prompt attention of serious level. 

I can go on n on but im done with ranting i guess but im sure whom ever reads this will get the picture n the issues going on.  

Thanks for reading n i look forward to having more of my/our time wasted in the future. 

PS. I didnt even mention the actual service related issues n outages that are frequently happening….AGAIN!!