how do I get a human?

WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE OF ANY COMPANY I HAVE EVER DEALT WITH.  WHY CAN I NOT TALK TO A LIVE HUMAN BEING ABOUT THE ISSUE I AM HAVING?  YOUR CANNED TROUBLE SHOOTING AND FAQ CAN NOT SOLVE MY PROBLEM.  XFINITY IS AWFUL AND IF I HAD ANY OTHER CHOICE FOR SERVICE I WOULD TAKE IT IN A HEART BEAT.