Customer service is the Absolute worst and I want to cancel this [Edited] service

Ah, the classic "storm knocked out my service a week ago, but please keep telling me it's fine" routine. It's almost as if I'm speaking in some ancient dialect—perhaps "blatantly obvious" is lost on you? The real magic trick, though, is how you've managed to master the art of vanishing service calls. Very impressive. I bet Houdini would be proud!

And Now, the modern odyssey of canceling Xfinity—a true test of human patience. Of course, getting a human on the line there is like hunting for Bigfoot. I'm convinced they've replaced all their staff with robots who aced "Gaslighting Customers 101" and have a minor in "Circular Hold Patterns."

But hey, at least Quantum Fiber still remembers how phones work and shockingly can get someone out in *three days*—unheard of, right? So, while I wait, I suppose my new hobby will be ripping out all this Xfinity junk, marching down to the nearest service center, and chucking it through the front door. Maybe I'll even tell them to [Edited: "Language"] for good measure—assuming I can find someone in the building who’s not too busy pretending I don’t exist.

For anyone trying to leave this BORG company: Good luck breaking free from the tech overlords. You're gonna need it.