Cancel My Service

Cancel all of my xfinity services, why can't this be a button online? Why does the site throw fake error codes when I try to schedule a callback to cancel? This is all highly illegal in many countries and I want my services cancelled. I don't care or want to keep a single xfinity service and it's insane that I have to make a post on this forum just to speak to anyone.

BTW, throttling just the endpoints that have anything related to do with billing while the rest of the site runs fine isn't a very subtle way to trap your customers. Cancel my plan, my email for my xfinity services is the same as the one for this forum I'm sure support can find it, I don't want to have to come back here so hopefully you guys cancel my services!